Do you want to have better sex? I expect you thought, yes since you’re still reading this. There’s a very simple trick to this, stop thinking about other things during sex. Really, that’s all that there is too it, well, it’s not everything, but it’s a good start.
It just makes sense that if you’re constantly caught up in something else, you’re not going to perform well in bed. It’s like writing a book in your head while trying to play basketball. You can’t expect spectacular results if you don’t put in your best work. (Now with my signature dad thought of the day completed, let’s continue.) You’re not completely to blame though. The world we live in is full of distractions and anxieties. You probably find yourself constantly thinking and worrying, even when you’re not in the bedroom. Life is funny in the case that we often worry about work during sex and think about sex during work. Our goal today is to get your mind where it needs to be and to improve your sexual performance.
The first step is acceptance.
I know you think I’m joking, but I’m not. If you can admit to yourself that you let stress get in your way during sex, you can improve. If not, well, I can’t help you with denial. Once you’re willing to say that you can’t focus on pleasure, then we can move on. The next step we’re going to take is recognizing the things we typically worry about. Once you pinpoint the stress and intrusive thoughts that most often ail you, you can start to block them out.
It won’t be easy at first, but as with most things, practice makes perfect. Taking measures beforehand can really set you up for success as well. So, plan ahead and make sure you have time to pleasure yourself and your partner, and then shut off the cell phones and laptops, you don’t need them while you make love. Then just make sure that anything you usually worry about is taken care of. Take the kids to grandma’s, get your paperwork done early, order in for dinner. Anything that is a stressor should be out of mind. Taking these steps will ensure some quality time alone with your partner and will probably give them some comfort as well as making it more enjoyable for the both of you.
Sometimes our biggest enemy is ourselves.
You have to be honest with yourself and your spouse and take a hard look at what’s causing you discomfort in the bedroom. There will always be gender roles and expectations of what a man is supposed to do, but if these make you uncomfortable or you feel like a fake doing them, then say something. Your partner may be experiencing the same thing. If you don’t want to have sex, that’s okay too. If you’re not feeling it that night, then just tell your spouse, you’d rather just spend some time together without sex.
If you never want to have sex…well, that’s a bit trickier, talk with your loved one, and maybe see a therapist, you may just not have any interest in it, or may there’s a problem in your life that’s causing it. Any pressure you’re feeling to have or not have sex is going to lessen your pleasure, not just in intercourse but in your daily life as well. Communication should always be your first go to, talk it out and seek professional help if necessary.
Once you’ve learned to be honest about sex and turn out distractions in the bedroom, then you can start improving on your natural talents.
This is actually the easiest part of the process. Research is your best friend. Take the time to ask the partner things they might be interested in and ask yourself as well. Always discuss new moves though, nobody likes to be unpleasantly surprised in the bedroom. Nothing needs to be permanent either, try new things and if they’re not liked, then no pressure to keep trying. Spicing things up should be enjoyable for the both of you.
Take it outside of the bedroom too. Make your partner feel loved and they’ll do it in return. Get back in touch with your romantic side, add a little more foreplay, be a little naughty. The world is full of pleasure. Try some new toys and experiment with each other. Nothing is sexier than sexual freedom. Once you both get over the embarrassment and awkwardness, there are endless possibilities out there. You have the entirety of it to experience with your lover as well. Make it fun, interesting, and safe and you’ll defiantly find something you love to do together.
Nobody likes to admit they’re having issues in the bedroom, and I understand the taboo of sex in today’s society.
There’s never been more pressure to enjoy yourself and pleasure someone else, but there is also no easy way to find the nonjudgmental advice you can trust. The world is stressful and sometimes we let that transfer into our bedrooms. This causes so many problems that we start to feel overwhelmed. Sex becomes more of a chore than a fun activity. If this is the case, really look into your sex life. Finding the flaws and being proactive is going to do wonders more than trying a new position.
It takes work and commitment, but also serenity to really enjoy yourself during sex. For once having a one-track mind will aid you. Keeping your worries and responsibilities outside the bedroom will make the experience greater for you and your partner, and once you both have found peace of mind, well then comes the fun part. Finding things, you both enjoy and incorporating them into the bedroom. Enjoy your sexual freedom and find our pleasure.